What I want for my children

so my big sister is coming out to visit me and i am addicted to checking her myspace profile. i think i've practically ingested every single detail she's added or changed. i love her so much. i always will. sometimes i'm enamored by her, sometimes i want to shake her by the shoulders and ask her "why!?' i've no doubt her mind boggles over the things i do too and given the things she has said and done for me, i am certain she loves me unconditionally too.

however, growing up we were often at odds with each other. when i became a mother i became fearful that it would be the same for my children. i was concerned for the hurt and pain my children might bring on each other and the hurt and pain eric and i might unwittingly put upon our children. ever since my first child was born i have been conscious of the inevitable second child that we dreamed of having and sought a "magic ingredient" that will teach my children the ways of "getting along" rather than fighting and abusing or bullying each other through their growing years.

today i had an epiphany about it all while i was browsing my sister's myspace profile. the bottom line is that despite everthing, from the small stuff to the big stuff, the protective love i have for my sister has been unfaltering. despite the distance between us, figuratively and literally, we are sisters and we are there for each other when it really matters.

So, while i hope for a peaceful household of loving siblings -- what i will strive for is the same kind of love my sister and i share.