Christmas and a New Year

my goodness me, how time flys. i can hardly believe we're in 2007. just last week i was writing a cheque (english spelling) and almost wrote it out for the month of august (nb month ryan was born). now i have to think about a new month and a new year when i write my next cheque. goodness me, how will i manage?!


the christmas season passed us by without any great event, though it will definitely be a christmas that i'll remember in my old senile days. it was maggie's year this year, really the first time she could participate. as people came to visit she wished them a merry christmas and when we went to see the christmas lights in napels she waved to people on their boats and shouted out a lovely "merry christmas" chirp. it was really lovely.

christmas also came with its huge pile of gifts and quality time with loved ones. maggie, however received the award for most original and planned gift in design. early last summer i asked her when she would be ready to start going pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty and she told me christmas. sure enough, maggie officially, well and trully, completed her potty training right at christmas. this means we no longer need to remind her, we no longer need to bribe, we no longer need to hand wash dirty undies and we no longer need to buy diapers for her. quite, possibly the best christmas present she'll ever give to us.

changing gears a bit, i want to make a mention of my parents and sister back in england. the holidays are always a tough time because of the stark reminder of just how much we are missing out on each others lives. you'd think with not spending time with someone you love, that you'd have a lot to talk about when you get on the phone but the reality of the matter is that there's far less to talk about. once you get passed the, "so how are you? what are you doing for christmas/new year? what have you been up to?" there isn't much left to say.

talking to my dad is bitter sweet. he's a very loving man and wears his heart on his sleeve. conversations with him are often heartfelt where i learn a little more about what kind of man he is. through the passage of time i have come to know him as "brian" and less so as "dad" -- the man that grumbles, snorts and coughs. little does he know, but after eight years of being out here, he's the one i feel that i can most easily connect with. i can always listen to his stories. i've rarely heard him complain or hold resentment yet i know he misses seeing his grand children, eric and i.

the affection i have for my dad is one that is really only reserved for him but that is not to say i don't miss my mum (english spelling). quite the contrary. i can't help but feel my relationship with my mom has weathered with time and distance. my mom is enjoying retirement and living life to the fullest, taking the time to rediscover who she is. i am pleased for her and happy to hear the bounce in her voice when she tells me about her activities and involvement with university of the third age but at the same time there are stories missed and untold about her grandchildren that just don't translate well down the phone line. then there's my sister who is so far removed from the daily happenings of my life (and i from hers) its untrue. to give an analogy, the connection between us is bit like a fishing line; strong, long, but not quite visible.

for the most part, i try not to dwell, but the holiday season has the tendency to bring this sort of thing into shaper focus. i start thinking about the next trip back. when do i go? how long will i stay for? will eric come with me? will the kids come with me? where will i stay? do i pay for my parents to visit us? so much to think about, so many options to weigh up. gosh -- i could go on with all the thoughts which race through my mind but you get the picture, i'm sure.

eric and i have been talking on and off about an extended stay in england this year(one or two months perhaps) to reconnect and give maggie some experience of england and her extended family. if we were to do this, it would just be the kids and i for the full duration and eric for a shorter visit (one or two weeks). while the notion sounds quite lovely, there is another reality. oh, what to do, what to do......