a bee in my bonnet

i have a bee in my bonnet about the phrase "just a stay at home mom". the phrase has such negative connotations and implies insignificance and passiveness on the part of the mother. comments from working moms such as "well, at least you don't have to work all day" are equally annoying and insulting but that is a whole other blog entry i'll save for another time.

for me, staying at home to raise my children is as much a privilege as it is a choice but the phrase "just a stay-at-home mom" is one which makes me twitch in my seat. it implies that mothering/parenting alone is not a worthwhile cause. it implies or is presumed that the mother has no personal life, social or mental acuity or life long goals. imagine, what do i say to a mother who chooses to work and says to me, "you're just a stay-at-home mom"? responding with an equally killing phrase might be something like, "you're just a part-time mom". of course i don't. i know there is no such thing as "part-time mom". mothers never stop thinking and worrying about their children, no matter what they do or where they are.


perhaps a more fitting term for a stay-at-home mom might be something like, "you're a full-time psychologist, educator, physician, nurturer, disciplinarian, mediator, conservationist, creator, story-teller, artist, photographer, fitness instructor, nutritionist, cook, cleaner, financial investor, accountant, events coordinator, diplomat, chauffer-mommy".

no? i guess that phrase doesn't exactly roll of the tongue. what would be better is to reward mothers who are able to, and have chosen to stay-at-home, with a pat on the back for a job well done. us stay at home moms don't "just stay at home". we work our butts off all day long with no tea breaks, no lunch breaks, no nice civil conversations with our peers -- and no boss or colleague to tell us “a job well done”. just and endless "to-do-list" that rarely gets past the top three; get up, get showered, get dressed.

a final word: us "stay-at-home moms" are so much more than just stay-at-home mothers. we are creating a world for a better tomorrow filled with amazing, wonderful, bright and caring individuals -- our children.