last friday eric and i took the two little ones off to a dermatologist appointment. both of them have very sensitive skin; ryan's skin is very dry and eczema like and maggie has rash like spots on her arms and legs. its been a frustrating and worrying time to determine what the cause of their skin rash has been but the doctors appeared to be quite confident in determining the cause for both their rashes is indeed eczema.
so, we have a new ritual after bath time, oil lotion for maggie and aquaphor for ryan. the aquaphor for ryan is over the counter and more petroleum jelly than anything else. the oil for maggie is rx formally known as eczema oil which has a low dose of steriod in it -- a little scary given some of the known side affects, though several people (dr.s, friends and family) have reassured me the amount is so little its really insignificant.
** big sigh ** why can't parenting be easier? everyday you make decisions as a parent for your child. some you make very matter of factly and put yourself in camp or another. the divisions can sometimes be very clear. tv mom or no tv mom, breastfeeding mom or formula feeding mom, candy or no candy. though it can be easy to find your ground with some of these "camps" its the other decisions like which cream to use on your child's skin or when to vaccinate your child or which school to send your child that can be so heart wrenching. you make decisions armed with the best information you have web linked your way to, that you have networked from the pre-school, the babysitter, the neighbor, the doctor, the friend of a friend of a friend and then one random comment from a random person or a random newswarticle can make you jump start your reseach all over again.
i remember the first time i took maggie to see her pediatrician -- signing on the line marked "legal guardian/parent". somehow it wasn't 'till that point that the full throng of parenthood really hit me. maggie was just a week old. now she is three and so far, has fairly well survived my parenting ole faux-pas but it never ceases to amaze me just how responsible being a parent is. my whole perspective on life has forever changed. they say parenting will change you, but its not until you've lived a few years of it that you can really see just how much.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
what i've been reading
sorry that i've been neglecting my blog a little. truth is, i've had my nose in some good books recently. you know, the kind which are hard to put down. the kids have also been keeping me quite busy recently and the cold season gave us another hit. fortunately, it seems we are all on the mend.
so what books have i been so hooked on? i have worked my way through three novels since christmas and taken a dive into two or three others -- it has felt like a real pleasure to have the energy and time to get through one novel, let alone three of them. so, without further ado, the books are: "one more day" by mitch albom, "bed rest" by sarah bilston, and "baby proof" by emily giffin.
"one more day" was a gift from eric for chistmas. i have read "the five people you meet in heaven" which was of a similar nature. regardless of that , "one more day" was and is a memorable book. if you're in the mood for something a little philosophical and enlightening -- i'd recommend it. if you've ever lost someone you loved and wished you could spend one more day with them, learn one more thing about them -- you'd probably enjoy it, though would need a good upbeat follow up to mellow you out.
"bed rest" was one i rented from my library and was picked up in part by a recommendation from my cousin and in part because of an invested interest for my sister-in-law who has been on bed rest with twins. given the premise of the book, i thought it'd be a good pick to gain a little perspective of my sister-in-laws experience if nothing else. as it turns out, the story line was more about relationships, expectations met (or not) and less about the ups and downs of bed rest during pregnancy. however, it is a good read and encourages a little self-reflection on how the history of our own relationships can impact our current ones.
my favorite of them all is, "baby proof". this will hit the mark with anyone approaching, nearing their thirties or living their thirties and soon to be leaving their thirties. giggin's writing is fast and quick witted with a tang of "sex in the city" kind of feel to it with a bit of "bridget jones diary" thrown in. i loved her writing so much that i have already ordered her other two books at the library (something blue and something borrowed
as i mentioned, i've also had my nose in a couple other books. these two fall into the non-ficiton variety. "you: the owners manual -- an insider's guide to the body that will make you healthier and younger" by michael f. roizen and mechmet c. oz m.d. ironically, it was a birthday gift, given to me by my babysitter. i've had a browse through it and have become somewhat inspired and motivated but am also left with the all encompassing overwhelming feeling of -- "oh my god i'm killing myself slowly. damn it, i must eat more veggies and drink more water, and have fresh fish at least three times a week, do some form of aerobic exercise three times a week, take a brisk walk every day, squeeze in yoga somewhere...." oh how that high rocky mountain to optimal health just gets steeper and steeper. will i ever stop feeling overwhelmed by it all?
the second non-fiction i've read a few chapters of is, "sleeping through the night" by jodi a mindell. as you can guess, my wonderful little boy (whose really not that little at 28inches going on 29 and 17lbs; i'm now purchasing size 12-18 months clothes for him!) is not yet sleeping through the night. i rented the book from the library (a new favorite fad of mine is to borrow rather than buy)to refresh myself on what the baby guru's have to say about the topic. from what i gather, ryan and i are doing a pretty good job in the sleep department but could benefit from a little tweaking. on a good night, he goes to bed around 6:30pm, feeds around 11pm, then at 3am ish and again around 6:30 - 7 am ish. my goal is to wean him from the 3am feeding around six months and eventually drop the 11pm feed sometime thereafter. we'll see how it goes. we'll be introducing solid foods soon so that may affect his sleeping and nursing habits too. my goodness how quickly they grow, how quickly time passes by -- did i mention that he has just started to learn how to sit unassisted for brief periods of time? i'll be sending him off to college before i know it and will be wondering where the years have gone.
so what books have i been so hooked on? i have worked my way through three novels since christmas and taken a dive into two or three others -- it has felt like a real pleasure to have the energy and time to get through one novel, let alone three of them. so, without further ado, the books are: "one more day" by mitch albom, "bed rest" by sarah bilston, and "baby proof" by emily giffin.
"one more day" was a gift from eric for chistmas. i have read "the five people you meet in heaven" which was of a similar nature. regardless of that , "one more day" was and is a memorable book. if you're in the mood for something a little philosophical and enlightening -- i'd recommend it. if you've ever lost someone you loved and wished you could spend one more day with them, learn one more thing about them -- you'd probably enjoy it, though would need a good upbeat follow up to mellow you out.
"bed rest" was one i rented from my library and was picked up in part by a recommendation from my cousin and in part because of an invested interest for my sister-in-law who has been on bed rest with twins. given the premise of the book, i thought it'd be a good pick to gain a little perspective of my sister-in-laws experience if nothing else. as it turns out, the story line was more about relationships, expectations met (or not) and less about the ups and downs of bed rest during pregnancy. however, it is a good read and encourages a little self-reflection on how the history of our own relationships can impact our current ones.
my favorite of them all is, "baby proof". this will hit the mark with anyone approaching, nearing their thirties or living their thirties and soon to be leaving their thirties. giggin's writing is fast and quick witted with a tang of "sex in the city" kind of feel to it with a bit of "bridget jones diary" thrown in. i loved her writing so much that i have already ordered her other two books at the library (something blue and something borrowed
as i mentioned, i've also had my nose in a couple other books. these two fall into the non-ficiton variety. "you: the owners manual -- an insider's guide to the body that will make you healthier and younger" by michael f. roizen and mechmet c. oz m.d. ironically, it was a birthday gift, given to me by my babysitter. i've had a browse through it and have become somewhat inspired and motivated but am also left with the all encompassing overwhelming feeling of -- "oh my god i'm killing myself slowly. damn it, i must eat more veggies and drink more water, and have fresh fish at least three times a week, do some form of aerobic exercise three times a week, take a brisk walk every day, squeeze in yoga somewhere...." oh how that high rocky mountain to optimal health just gets steeper and steeper. will i ever stop feeling overwhelmed by it all?
the second non-fiction i've read a few chapters of is, "sleeping through the night" by jodi a mindell. as you can guess, my wonderful little boy (whose really not that little at 28inches going on 29 and 17lbs; i'm now purchasing size 12-18 months clothes for him!) is not yet sleeping through the night. i rented the book from the library (a new favorite fad of mine is to borrow rather than buy)to refresh myself on what the baby guru's have to say about the topic. from what i gather, ryan and i are doing a pretty good job in the sleep department but could benefit from a little tweaking. on a good night, he goes to bed around 6:30pm, feeds around 11pm, then at 3am ish and again around 6:30 - 7 am ish. my goal is to wean him from the 3am feeding around six months and eventually drop the 11pm feed sometime thereafter. we'll see how it goes. we'll be introducing solid foods soon so that may affect his sleeping and nursing habits too. my goodness how quickly they grow, how quickly time passes by -- did i mention that he has just started to learn how to sit unassisted for brief periods of time? i'll be sending him off to college before i know it and will be wondering where the years have gone.
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
princess cutie likes worms and tummy rolls for ryan
well our two little ones are coming along great and making my days speed along like bullet trains. today, i picked up maggie from pre-school who was happily going through the new box of dress up clothes. there was so much maturity in seeing her try different outfits from cowboy boots, cinderella dresses and flowery alice bands -- all items i couldn't persuade her to try on if my life depended on it. i breathed a small sigh of relief remembering that ten months from now she will be donning he own princess dress when she's a flower girl for our cousin amber.
here comes the real story though. maggie directed me over to the tea party where she was mixing me a special cup of tea. it looked much like "dirty water" to me. as the rule of the school is not to have that sort of thing inside i redirected her to play outside where upon i discovered my "dirty water" was nothing more than half a dozen worms in a small ball of mud. she was fascinated watching the worms and apparently spent a lot of her time today picking them out from the newly laid grass. oh my maggie -- i do love her so. she also corrected me in my observations and told me, as she stood in a white frothy princess dress with faux pearls sown on, that she was princess cutie from cutie and the beast - not belle.
and then there's ryan. big, long and tall, cherrishable, charismatic ryan. he learned how to roll from his tummy to his back today and is so pleased with his new achievement. it really will just be a matter of time before he's crawling. when he's laying on his stomach, chest perched up with his forearms and fist, he manages to inch his way forward kicking his legs and occasionally getting both knees bent into crawling mode. so, the race is on. can i get the house ryan proofed in time?
here comes the real story though. maggie directed me over to the tea party where she was mixing me a special cup of tea. it looked much like "dirty water" to me. as the rule of the school is not to have that sort of thing inside i redirected her to play outside where upon i discovered my "dirty water" was nothing more than half a dozen worms in a small ball of mud. she was fascinated watching the worms and apparently spent a lot of her time today picking them out from the newly laid grass. oh my maggie -- i do love her so. she also corrected me in my observations and told me, as she stood in a white frothy princess dress with faux pearls sown on, that she was princess cutie from cutie and the beast - not belle.
and then there's ryan. big, long and tall, cherrishable, charismatic ryan. he learned how to roll from his tummy to his back today and is so pleased with his new achievement. it really will just be a matter of time before he's crawling. when he's laying on his stomach, chest perched up with his forearms and fist, he manages to inch his way forward kicking his legs and occasionally getting both knees bent into crawling mode. so, the race is on. can i get the house ryan proofed in time?
Sunday, January 7, 2007
my birthday
my birthday was wonderful! the day is coming to an end and i am left feeling very cared for and loved.
the celebrations started saturday morning. the four of us had breakfast at a favorite french brasserie of ours on second street in belmont shores area. we all indluged in one small cherry cupcake, topped with sweet cream and chocolate flakes (maggie's choice)-- it was very moist and not too sweet. i followed with a panini sandwich of fresh mozzarella, basil and tomato, eric had a french baguette with scrambled egg, bacon and avocado and maggie enjoyed some pickings from each of our plates with a fruit salad; ryan gulped down a digested milk produced version of all the above.
the middle of the day was filled with me running around the house picking up, dusting and cleaning. my house had been looking remarkable like the aftermath of a english jumble sale,-- a lot of toys, books and games misplaced, the dust bunnies looked like they were ready to host their own dinner party. strangely enough, this was a treat to do. i'm not known for keeping a clean and tidy house but i have been going a crazy stepping over the clutter and sporadically picking up the dust bunnies whenever they crossed my path.
saturday night eric and i went out for a date and found ourselves at mahé, a restaurant that offers amazing sushi. i'm telling you the sushi was melt in your mouth good. my stomach was full and my chopsticks were still reaching out for another roll -- talk about food comma. the atmosphere in the restaurant was perfect for the occasion too. live acoustic music was playing, a fair mixture of people from the trendy air-heads to the "i'm only here for the good food" type.
my birthday morning was just as picture perfect as it could be. it began with the four of us were laying in the california queen under the covers, the kids in between eric and i, catching an extra twenty minutes of shut-eye. it was so lovely to have three pairs of blue eyes staring back at me and wishing me happy birthday. maggie wished me an earnest "happy birthday mommy" and promptly asked about cake, ryan gave me his "melt your heart" smile and eric rolled out off bed with the kids to give me an extra twenty minutes under the covers. when my twenty minutes were up, i was presented with three lovely cards, one from maggie, one from eric and another one for swedish massage and aromatherapy treatment.
my mum rang mid-morning and dutifully sang a full verse of happy birthday down the phone line, as she does every year. we caught up with each other a bit, I filled her in on my birthday plans and enjoyed a quick chat with my dad before hanging up with the promise of a call back later in the week. i also caught up with my birthday twin from england (hi kat). we joked about how quickly the year has passed and marveled at how insane it was that we had basically spent a whole year trying to set up a phone date since out last birthday. my very dear friend, dannielle, came over to visit and presented me with some very thoughtful gifts (thank you again dannielle) who then took me out for lunch at pfchangs in long beach. ryan was extremely cooperative and allowed us to catch up the only way girlfriends do; all while eric hung out in the car with sleeping beauty (maggie).
i also got emails, cards and lovely voice mails from other dear friends and family of mine, all which just made me feel so incredibly grateful. and on that note -- the last few years of celebrating my birthday i have been feeling that it should be less about me and more about the people in my life. the people who fill it with joy, with happiness. people who make me a stronger, people who make me a better person. it's a little too cliché to present it like this i suppose, but it is how i feel. after all, i am no more than accumulation of the people in my life. if you're reading this blog, please know that i love you, i admire you and am so glad to have you in my life, as a part of my life.
thanks guys :-)
the celebrations started saturday morning. the four of us had breakfast at a favorite french brasserie of ours on second street in belmont shores area. we all indluged in one small cherry cupcake, topped with sweet cream and chocolate flakes (maggie's choice)-- it was very moist and not too sweet. i followed with a panini sandwich of fresh mozzarella, basil and tomato, eric had a french baguette with scrambled egg, bacon and avocado and maggie enjoyed some pickings from each of our plates with a fruit salad; ryan gulped down a digested milk produced version of all the above.
the middle of the day was filled with me running around the house picking up, dusting and cleaning. my house had been looking remarkable like the aftermath of a english jumble sale,-- a lot of toys, books and games misplaced, the dust bunnies looked like they were ready to host their own dinner party. strangely enough, this was a treat to do. i'm not known for keeping a clean and tidy house but i have been going a crazy stepping over the clutter and sporadically picking up the dust bunnies whenever they crossed my path.
saturday night eric and i went out for a date and found ourselves at mahé, a restaurant that offers amazing sushi. i'm telling you the sushi was melt in your mouth good. my stomach was full and my chopsticks were still reaching out for another roll -- talk about food comma. the atmosphere in the restaurant was perfect for the occasion too. live acoustic music was playing, a fair mixture of people from the trendy air-heads to the "i'm only here for the good food" type.
my birthday morning was just as picture perfect as it could be. it began with the four of us were laying in the california queen under the covers, the kids in between eric and i, catching an extra twenty minutes of shut-eye. it was so lovely to have three pairs of blue eyes staring back at me and wishing me happy birthday. maggie wished me an earnest "happy birthday mommy" and promptly asked about cake, ryan gave me his "melt your heart" smile and eric rolled out off bed with the kids to give me an extra twenty minutes under the covers. when my twenty minutes were up, i was presented with three lovely cards, one from maggie, one from eric and another one for swedish massage and aromatherapy treatment.
my mum rang mid-morning and dutifully sang a full verse of happy birthday down the phone line, as she does every year. we caught up with each other a bit, I filled her in on my birthday plans and enjoyed a quick chat with my dad before hanging up with the promise of a call back later in the week. i also caught up with my birthday twin from england (hi kat). we joked about how quickly the year has passed and marveled at how insane it was that we had basically spent a whole year trying to set up a phone date since out last birthday. my very dear friend, dannielle, came over to visit and presented me with some very thoughtful gifts (thank you again dannielle) who then took me out for lunch at pfchangs in long beach. ryan was extremely cooperative and allowed us to catch up the only way girlfriends do; all while eric hung out in the car with sleeping beauty (maggie).
i also got emails, cards and lovely voice mails from other dear friends and family of mine, all which just made me feel so incredibly grateful. and on that note -- the last few years of celebrating my birthday i have been feeling that it should be less about me and more about the people in my life. the people who fill it with joy, with happiness. people who make me a stronger, people who make me a better person. it's a little too cliché to present it like this i suppose, but it is how i feel. after all, i am no more than accumulation of the people in my life. if you're reading this blog, please know that i love you, i admire you and am so glad to have you in my life, as a part of my life.
thanks guys :-)
Friday, January 5, 2007
off the charts
i took ryan to the doctors today. he measured in at 27 and 3/4 inches in length and weighed 16lbs 4oz. for his length, he is quite literally off the percentile chart and for weight he is sitting comfortably at 75. as a side note i should add that exactly two weeks ago, ryan was just 27 inches. can you imagine growing 3/4 of an inch in just two weeks? think about how much energy that would take. how much food you'd need to eat.
speaking of which, i am trying to better schedule ryan's naps and feedings. in the early days, feeding ryan was all about keeping my head above water. i'd spend my days nursing and carrying him in the sling while entertaining maggie to ensure she did not feel sidelined. now i feel like i'm treading water fairly successfully with daring trips to the mall, the zoo and aquarium. i am now ready to swim a few laps.
it feels like ryan is ready to take on a few new challenges too. he is a lot more mature and is better apt at keeping himself entertained with his developing motor skills. he has discovered his hands and likes to put them in his mouth a lot. and those lovely dropped earlobes, he's discovered them too -- oh how he loves to pull on them and trick me into believing he has an ear infection. he's loving his reflection in the mirror -- he squeals, smiles and laughs along with himself. he is just one step away from rolling over which is just a short pit-stop before he learns how to crawl. ohh boy...
speaking of which, i am trying to better schedule ryan's naps and feedings. in the early days, feeding ryan was all about keeping my head above water. i'd spend my days nursing and carrying him in the sling while entertaining maggie to ensure she did not feel sidelined. now i feel like i'm treading water fairly successfully with daring trips to the mall, the zoo and aquarium. i am now ready to swim a few laps.
it feels like ryan is ready to take on a few new challenges too. he is a lot more mature and is better apt at keeping himself entertained with his developing motor skills. he has discovered his hands and likes to put them in his mouth a lot. and those lovely dropped earlobes, he's discovered them too -- oh how he loves to pull on them and trick me into believing he has an ear infection. he's loving his reflection in the mirror -- he squeals, smiles and laughs along with himself. he is just one step away from rolling over which is just a short pit-stop before he learns how to crawl. ohh boy...
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Christmas and a New Year
my goodness me, how time flys. i can hardly believe we're in 2007. just last week i was writing a cheque (english spelling) and almost wrote it out for the month of august (nb month ryan was born). now i have to think about a new month and a new year when i write my next cheque. goodness me, how will i manage?!
the christmas season passed us by without any great event, though it will definitely be a christmas that i'll remember in my old senile days. it was maggie's year this year, really the first time she could participate. as people came to visit she wished them a merry christmas and when we went to see the christmas lights in napels she waved to people on their boats and shouted out a lovely "merry christmas" chirp. it was really lovely.
christmas also came with its huge pile of gifts and quality time with loved ones. maggie, however received the award for most original and planned gift in design. early last summer i asked her when she would be ready to start going pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty and she told me christmas. sure enough, maggie officially, well and trully, completed her potty training right at christmas. this means we no longer need to remind her, we no longer need to bribe, we no longer need to hand wash dirty undies and we no longer need to buy diapers for her. quite, possibly the best christmas present she'll ever give to us.
changing gears a bit, i want to make a mention of my parents and sister back in england. the holidays are always a tough time because of the stark reminder of just how much we are missing out on each others lives. you'd think with not spending time with someone you love, that you'd have a lot to talk about when you get on the phone but the reality of the matter is that there's far less to talk about. once you get passed the, "so how are you? what are you doing for christmas/new year? what have you been up to?" there isn't much left to say.
talking to my dad is bitter sweet. he's a very loving man and wears his heart on his sleeve. conversations with him are often heartfelt where i learn a little more about what kind of man he is. through the passage of time i have come to know him as "brian" and less so as "dad" -- the man that grumbles, snorts and coughs. little does he know, but after eight years of being out here, he's the one i feel that i can most easily connect with. i can always listen to his stories. i've rarely heard him complain or hold resentment yet i know he misses seeing his grand children, eric and i.
the affection i have for my dad is one that is really only reserved for him but that is not to say i don't miss my mum (english spelling). quite the contrary. i can't help but feel my relationship with my mom has weathered with time and distance. my mom is enjoying retirement and living life to the fullest, taking the time to rediscover who she is. i am pleased for her and happy to hear the bounce in her voice when she tells me about her activities and involvement with university of the third age but at the same time there are stories missed and untold about her grandchildren that just don't translate well down the phone line. then there's my sister who is so far removed from the daily happenings of my life (and i from hers) its untrue. to give an analogy, the connection between us is bit like a fishing line; strong, long, but not quite visible.
for the most part, i try not to dwell, but the holiday season has the tendency to bring this sort of thing into shaper focus. i start thinking about the next trip back. when do i go? how long will i stay for? will eric come with me? will the kids come with me? where will i stay? do i pay for my parents to visit us? so much to think about, so many options to weigh up. gosh -- i could go on with all the thoughts which race through my mind but you get the picture, i'm sure.
eric and i have been talking on and off about an extended stay in england this year(one or two months perhaps) to reconnect and give maggie some experience of england and her extended family. if we were to do this, it would just be the kids and i for the full duration and eric for a shorter visit (one or two weeks). while the notion sounds quite lovely, there is another reality. oh, what to do, what to do......
the christmas season passed us by without any great event, though it will definitely be a christmas that i'll remember in my old senile days. it was maggie's year this year, really the first time she could participate. as people came to visit she wished them a merry christmas and when we went to see the christmas lights in napels she waved to people on their boats and shouted out a lovely "merry christmas" chirp. it was really lovely.
christmas also came with its huge pile of gifts and quality time with loved ones. maggie, however received the award for most original and planned gift in design. early last summer i asked her when she would be ready to start going pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty and she told me christmas. sure enough, maggie officially, well and trully, completed her potty training right at christmas. this means we no longer need to remind her, we no longer need to bribe, we no longer need to hand wash dirty undies and we no longer need to buy diapers for her. quite, possibly the best christmas present she'll ever give to us.
changing gears a bit, i want to make a mention of my parents and sister back in england. the holidays are always a tough time because of the stark reminder of just how much we are missing out on each others lives. you'd think with not spending time with someone you love, that you'd have a lot to talk about when you get on the phone but the reality of the matter is that there's far less to talk about. once you get passed the, "so how are you? what are you doing for christmas/new year? what have you been up to?" there isn't much left to say.
talking to my dad is bitter sweet. he's a very loving man and wears his heart on his sleeve. conversations with him are often heartfelt where i learn a little more about what kind of man he is. through the passage of time i have come to know him as "brian" and less so as "dad" -- the man that grumbles, snorts and coughs. little does he know, but after eight years of being out here, he's the one i feel that i can most easily connect with. i can always listen to his stories. i've rarely heard him complain or hold resentment yet i know he misses seeing his grand children, eric and i.
the affection i have for my dad is one that is really only reserved for him but that is not to say i don't miss my mum (english spelling). quite the contrary. i can't help but feel my relationship with my mom has weathered with time and distance. my mom is enjoying retirement and living life to the fullest, taking the time to rediscover who she is. i am pleased for her and happy to hear the bounce in her voice when she tells me about her activities and involvement with university of the third age but at the same time there are stories missed and untold about her grandchildren that just don't translate well down the phone line. then there's my sister who is so far removed from the daily happenings of my life (and i from hers) its untrue. to give an analogy, the connection between us is bit like a fishing line; strong, long, but not quite visible.
for the most part, i try not to dwell, but the holiday season has the tendency to bring this sort of thing into shaper focus. i start thinking about the next trip back. when do i go? how long will i stay for? will eric come with me? will the kids come with me? where will i stay? do i pay for my parents to visit us? so much to think about, so many options to weigh up. gosh -- i could go on with all the thoughts which race through my mind but you get the picture, i'm sure.
eric and i have been talking on and off about an extended stay in england this year(one or two months perhaps) to reconnect and give maggie some experience of england and her extended family. if we were to do this, it would just be the kids and i for the full duration and eric for a shorter visit (one or two weeks). while the notion sounds quite lovely, there is another reality. oh, what to do, what to do......
Friday, December 15, 2006
mother's love
there's really nothing quite like a mother's love. i've realized how true that is this week as i've been doing my best to look after my two precious ones, margaret and ryan. they have both been sick with nasty colds.
at times is has been downright overwhelming. other times it has been heartbreaking -- every inch of me just wants to step into their suffering. When ever i wondered how an earth i was going to manage the next snotty nosed rub on my shoulder or milky cough into my face i somehow managed to let it all go and see the humor and beauty of it all.
for example, yesterday i was nursing ryan in the glider. he was clearly uncomfortable and feeling the symptoms of his cold and just began to doze off in my arms. phew i thought to myself.
the next thing i knew, maggie had decided it would be a good idea to harass the cats. usually she is very good with the cats but things looked like they were about to get out of hand so i gave her a verbal warning to stop as quietly, but assertively, as i could as not to wake ryan. maggie, just as assertively, responded with, "don't say that to me. don't say that to me!" and then the tears began.
ryan squirmed in my arms and broke into a shrill while maggie came and stood right next to me. as maggie stood, her eyes filled with salty tears where she again said, "don't say that to me!" -- her face rash like from the dry snot she had smeared over her face and two fresh green wet muccas bubbles popping out from her nostrils i considered just how much i loved her and ryan.
the whole look and expression made me smile. to me, maggie looked beautiful. tearful and snotty, but still beautiful. ryan squirming in my arms at a hefty 17 lbs still oozed with squimy goodness that made me just want to nuzzle nose to nose with him.
yes. there's nothing like a mother's love.
at times is has been downright overwhelming. other times it has been heartbreaking -- every inch of me just wants to step into their suffering. When ever i wondered how an earth i was going to manage the next snotty nosed rub on my shoulder or milky cough into my face i somehow managed to let it all go and see the humor and beauty of it all.
for example, yesterday i was nursing ryan in the glider. he was clearly uncomfortable and feeling the symptoms of his cold and just began to doze off in my arms. phew i thought to myself.
the next thing i knew, maggie had decided it would be a good idea to harass the cats. usually she is very good with the cats but things looked like they were about to get out of hand so i gave her a verbal warning to stop as quietly, but assertively, as i could as not to wake ryan. maggie, just as assertively, responded with, "don't say that to me. don't say that to me!" and then the tears began.
ryan squirmed in my arms and broke into a shrill while maggie came and stood right next to me. as maggie stood, her eyes filled with salty tears where she again said, "don't say that to me!" -- her face rash like from the dry snot she had smeared over her face and two fresh green wet muccas bubbles popping out from her nostrils i considered just how much i loved her and ryan.
the whole look and expression made me smile. to me, maggie looked beautiful. tearful and snotty, but still beautiful. ryan squirming in my arms at a hefty 17 lbs still oozed with squimy goodness that made me just want to nuzzle nose to nose with him.
yes. there's nothing like a mother's love.
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