I've been having a couple of momentous moments with Maggie this past week. She's been learning the art of saying "sorry". And I have been learning the art of keeping my cool while negotiating my way around the logic of a four, almost five year old. The following is a close example of one of the many conversations we've had over this past week. Enjoy.
Me: Maggie its time to turn off the movie and get ready for school. Please get your shoes on.
Maggie: No!
Me: Maggie.... (spoken with my warned inflection)
Maggie: No. I don't want to!
Me: Maggie what's the matter? You sound very upset.
Maggie: I don't want to turn the movie off! (...tears sulking and whining infuse...)
Me: Maggie, you knew what my expectations were. Now it's time to turn the movie off please.
Maggie: I'm upset. I'm the most upsetest today. I will be upset all day and will never ever be happy again. Never ever.
Me: Maggie I'm turning the movie off. We're going to school. Get you shoes on please.
Maggie: No..... mummy. No mummy! Don't do that!
[by this point Maggie retreats to her room and I give her some "time out" before I enter]
Me: Hello Maggie. What are you doing in here?
Maggie: I'm sad.
Me: Why are you sad Maggie?
Maggie: I was looking at the pictures of you and it made me feel sad.
Me: Why is that Maggie?... Use your voice please, not your tears...
Maggie: I'm sad for the way I spoke to you.
Me: Oh Maggie... Do you need a hug?
Maggie: Yes (whimpering). I'm sorry Mummy.
Me: Sorry for what Maggie?
Maggie: I'm sorry for screaming and crying.
Me: It's okay to be upset Maggie but you need to use your voice. It's important to tell me how you feel. Now what's the other part of saying sorry?
Maggie: [sniffling a little] I don't know. You tell me.
Me: You ask what you can do to make it better.
Maggie: What can I do to make it better mummy?
Me: You can get your shoes on for school.
And off she went to get her shoes on without any whinning, stalling or fussing. It felt like a grand, grand, proud mummy moment.
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1 comment:
Well done. You handled that situation impeccably.
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