my goodness me, how time flys. i can hardly believe we're in 2007. just last week i was writing a cheque (english spelling) and almost wrote it out for the month of august (nb month ryan was born). now i have to think about a new month and a new year when i write my next cheque. goodness me, how will i manage?!
the christmas season passed us by without any great event, though it will definitely be a christmas that i'll remember in my old senile days. it was maggie's year this year, really the first time she could participate. as people came to visit she wished them a merry christmas and when we went to see the christmas lights in napels she waved to people on their boats and shouted out a lovely "merry christmas" chirp. it was really lovely.
christmas also came with its huge pile of gifts and quality time with loved ones. maggie, however received the award for most original and planned gift in design. early last summer i asked her when she would be ready to start going pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty and she told me christmas. sure enough, maggie officially, well and trully, completed her potty training right at christmas. this means we no longer need to remind her, we no longer need to bribe, we no longer need to hand wash dirty undies and we no longer need to buy diapers for her. quite, possibly the best christmas present she'll ever give to us.
changing gears a bit, i want to make a mention of my parents and sister back in england. the holidays are always a tough time because of the stark reminder of just how much we are missing out on each others lives. you'd think with not spending time with someone you love, that you'd have a lot to talk about when you get on the phone but the reality of the matter is that there's far less to talk about. once you get passed the, "so how are you? what are you doing for christmas/new year? what have you been up to?" there isn't much left to say.
talking to my dad is bitter sweet. he's a very loving man and wears his heart on his sleeve. conversations with him are often heartfelt where i learn a little more about what kind of man he is. through the passage of time i have come to know him as "brian" and less so as "dad" -- the man that grumbles, snorts and coughs. little does he know, but after eight years of being out here, he's the one i feel that i can most easily connect with. i can always listen to his stories. i've rarely heard him complain or hold resentment yet i know he misses seeing his grand children, eric and i.
the affection i have for my dad is one that is really only reserved for him but that is not to say i don't miss my mum (english spelling). quite the contrary. i can't help but feel my relationship with my mom has weathered with time and distance. my mom is enjoying retirement and living life to the fullest, taking the time to rediscover who she is. i am pleased for her and happy to hear the bounce in her voice when she tells me about her activities and involvement with university of the third age but at the same time there are stories missed and untold about her grandchildren that just don't translate well down the phone line. then there's my sister who is so far removed from the daily happenings of my life (and i from hers) its untrue. to give an analogy, the connection between us is bit like a fishing line; strong, long, but not quite visible.
for the most part, i try not to dwell, but the holiday season has the tendency to bring this sort of thing into shaper focus. i start thinking about the next trip back. when do i go? how long will i stay for? will eric come with me? will the kids come with me? where will i stay? do i pay for my parents to visit us? so much to think about, so many options to weigh up. gosh -- i could go on with all the thoughts which race through my mind but you get the picture, i'm sure.
eric and i have been talking on and off about an extended stay in england this year(one or two months perhaps) to reconnect and give maggie some experience of england and her extended family. if we were to do this, it would just be the kids and i for the full duration and eric for a shorter visit (one or two weeks). while the notion sounds quite lovely, there is another reality. oh, what to do, what to do......
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Friday, December 15, 2006
mother's love
there's really nothing quite like a mother's love. i've realized how true that is this week as i've been doing my best to look after my two precious ones, margaret and ryan. they have both been sick with nasty colds.
at times is has been downright overwhelming. other times it has been heartbreaking -- every inch of me just wants to step into their suffering. When ever i wondered how an earth i was going to manage the next snotty nosed rub on my shoulder or milky cough into my face i somehow managed to let it all go and see the humor and beauty of it all.
for example, yesterday i was nursing ryan in the glider. he was clearly uncomfortable and feeling the symptoms of his cold and just began to doze off in my arms. phew i thought to myself.
the next thing i knew, maggie had decided it would be a good idea to harass the cats. usually she is very good with the cats but things looked like they were about to get out of hand so i gave her a verbal warning to stop as quietly, but assertively, as i could as not to wake ryan. maggie, just as assertively, responded with, "don't say that to me. don't say that to me!" and then the tears began.
ryan squirmed in my arms and broke into a shrill while maggie came and stood right next to me. as maggie stood, her eyes filled with salty tears where she again said, "don't say that to me!" -- her face rash like from the dry snot she had smeared over her face and two fresh green wet muccas bubbles popping out from her nostrils i considered just how much i loved her and ryan.
the whole look and expression made me smile. to me, maggie looked beautiful. tearful and snotty, but still beautiful. ryan squirming in my arms at a hefty 17 lbs still oozed with squimy goodness that made me just want to nuzzle nose to nose with him.
yes. there's nothing like a mother's love.
at times is has been downright overwhelming. other times it has been heartbreaking -- every inch of me just wants to step into their suffering. When ever i wondered how an earth i was going to manage the next snotty nosed rub on my shoulder or milky cough into my face i somehow managed to let it all go and see the humor and beauty of it all.
for example, yesterday i was nursing ryan in the glider. he was clearly uncomfortable and feeling the symptoms of his cold and just began to doze off in my arms. phew i thought to myself.
the next thing i knew, maggie had decided it would be a good idea to harass the cats. usually she is very good with the cats but things looked like they were about to get out of hand so i gave her a verbal warning to stop as quietly, but assertively, as i could as not to wake ryan. maggie, just as assertively, responded with, "don't say that to me. don't say that to me!" and then the tears began.
ryan squirmed in my arms and broke into a shrill while maggie came and stood right next to me. as maggie stood, her eyes filled with salty tears where she again said, "don't say that to me!" -- her face rash like from the dry snot she had smeared over her face and two fresh green wet muccas bubbles popping out from her nostrils i considered just how much i loved her and ryan.
the whole look and expression made me smile. to me, maggie looked beautiful. tearful and snotty, but still beautiful. ryan squirming in my arms at a hefty 17 lbs still oozed with squimy goodness that made me just want to nuzzle nose to nose with him.
yes. there's nothing like a mother's love.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
what maggie wants for christmas
been quite busy the last few days and have missed posting some personal thoughts on a couple of topics. i plan on posting them at a later date but this story is short and sweet -- and too cute to postpone.
maggie had her friend over today who has become somewhat of a "big sister" to her -- she's three years older than maggie and has known her for almost two years now. it's so lovely to see them together. i think maggie enjoys being "grown up" with her and just blooms with confidence when she's around. it's a great relationship for her to have.
i was reading them both a book "miss spiders christmas wish" . in the story a lonely young miss spiders wishes for a new friend. i asked the girls what they would like for christmas. maggie spoke first. here's what she said, "i want snow, a tree, santa claus and real reindeer in my room." her friend said she wanted another real kitten and if she couldn't have that she'd take a doll that you can put different outfits on.
the faces on each of their faces was priceless and for one brief moment i too felt the spirit of christmas like only a child can.
maggie had her friend over today who has become somewhat of a "big sister" to her -- she's three years older than maggie and has known her for almost two years now. it's so lovely to see them together. i think maggie enjoys being "grown up" with her and just blooms with confidence when she's around. it's a great relationship for her to have.
i was reading them both a book "miss spiders christmas wish" . in the story a lonely young miss spiders wishes for a new friend. i asked the girls what they would like for christmas. maggie spoke first. here's what she said, "i want snow, a tree, santa claus and real reindeer in my room." her friend said she wanted another real kitten and if she couldn't have that she'd take a doll that you can put different outfits on.
the faces on each of their faces was priceless and for one brief moment i too felt the spirit of christmas like only a child can.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
why two is so much more than one
i titled this post a long time before i got round to writing the context which is iroinc considering the point i'm trying to make.
have two kids truly is so much more work than having one! the big difference comes in the washing. i can't believe how much more washing that comes with one more child. i have to remember that its not just the little clothes i'm washing but its also more sheets, towels, blankets. more bibs, spit up cloths, car seats covers. my clothes are also getting washed more frequently for all the extra spit up, poop and pee that is getting thrown at it.
and then there's the missing "down time". when there is just one. there's really just one. when they are having some down time, taking a nap, reading a book, colouring in, you get to enjoy the benefits. when you have two, they conspire to keep you busy all day long! when there’s more than one, there is no “down time”.
have two kids truly is so much more work than having one! the big difference comes in the washing. i can't believe how much more washing that comes with one more child. i have to remember that its not just the little clothes i'm washing but its also more sheets, towels, blankets. more bibs, spit up cloths, car seats covers. my clothes are also getting washed more frequently for all the extra spit up, poop and pee that is getting thrown at it.
and then there's the missing "down time". when there is just one. there's really just one. when they are having some down time, taking a nap, reading a book, colouring in, you get to enjoy the benefits. when you have two, they conspire to keep you busy all day long! when there’s more than one, there is no “down time”.
a bee in my bonnet
i have a bee in my bonnet about the phrase "just a stay at home mom". the phrase has such negative connotations and implies insignificance and passiveness on the part of the mother. comments from working moms such as "well, at least you don't have to work all day" are equally annoying and insulting but that is a whole other blog entry i'll save for another time.
for me, staying at home to raise my children is as much a privilege as it is a choice but the phrase "just a stay-at-home mom" is one which makes me twitch in my seat. it implies that mothering/parenting alone is not a worthwhile cause. it implies or is presumed that the mother has no personal life, social or mental acuity or life long goals. imagine, what do i say to a mother who chooses to work and says to me, "you're just a stay-at-home mom"? responding with an equally killing phrase might be something like, "you're just a part-time mom". of course i don't. i know there is no such thing as "part-time mom". mothers never stop thinking and worrying about their children, no matter what they do or where they are.
perhaps a more fitting term for a stay-at-home mom might be something like, "you're a full-time psychologist, educator, physician, nurturer, disciplinarian, mediator, conservationist, creator, story-teller, artist, photographer, fitness instructor, nutritionist, cook, cleaner, financial investor, accountant, events coordinator, diplomat, chauffer-mommy".
no? i guess that phrase doesn't exactly roll of the tongue. what would be better is to reward mothers who are able to, and have chosen to stay-at-home, with a pat on the back for a job well done. us stay at home moms don't "just stay at home". we work our butts off all day long with no tea breaks, no lunch breaks, no nice civil conversations with our peers -- and no boss or colleague to tell us “a job well done”. just and endless "to-do-list" that rarely gets past the top three; get up, get showered, get dressed.
a final word: us "stay-at-home moms" are so much more than just stay-at-home mothers. we are creating a world for a better tomorrow filled with amazing, wonderful, bright and caring individuals -- our children.
for me, staying at home to raise my children is as much a privilege as it is a choice but the phrase "just a stay-at-home mom" is one which makes me twitch in my seat. it implies that mothering/parenting alone is not a worthwhile cause. it implies or is presumed that the mother has no personal life, social or mental acuity or life long goals. imagine, what do i say to a mother who chooses to work and says to me, "you're just a stay-at-home mom"? responding with an equally killing phrase might be something like, "you're just a part-time mom". of course i don't. i know there is no such thing as "part-time mom". mothers never stop thinking and worrying about their children, no matter what they do or where they are.
perhaps a more fitting term for a stay-at-home mom might be something like, "you're a full-time psychologist, educator, physician, nurturer, disciplinarian, mediator, conservationist, creator, story-teller, artist, photographer, fitness instructor, nutritionist, cook, cleaner, financial investor, accountant, events coordinator, diplomat, chauffer-mommy".
no? i guess that phrase doesn't exactly roll of the tongue. what would be better is to reward mothers who are able to, and have chosen to stay-at-home, with a pat on the back for a job well done. us stay at home moms don't "just stay at home". we work our butts off all day long with no tea breaks, no lunch breaks, no nice civil conversations with our peers -- and no boss or colleague to tell us “a job well done”. just and endless "to-do-list" that rarely gets past the top three; get up, get showered, get dressed.
a final word: us "stay-at-home moms" are so much more than just stay-at-home mothers. we are creating a world for a better tomorrow filled with amazing, wonderful, bright and caring individuals -- our children.
Friday, December 1, 2006
what to teach about christmas
since writing this blog there has been so many things i've wanted to comment on during the day, but when the evening comes and the kids are in bed i'm usually planning the next day in my head. i hope that as my writing skills develop and i get into a better habit of writing to this blog, i'll be able to record more of the precious moments and small miracles which are such a a large part of my family life.
that being said, i've had quite a philosophical collection of thoughts today. christmas. how do i make christmas, christmas? what family traditions do i want to create or pass on? what "meaning" do i want to teach to my children about christmas? do i teach them about the story of jesus christ? do i engage them in the fantasy of father christmas? what's more, how can i teach my children about religious tolerance and social inequality? how can i teach them about the gift of giving and the art of receiving?
maggie will be three and half this christmas and she is much more aware of her surroundings than last year. she is beginning to notice differences between herself and those around her from skin color to physical size, sex and age. i am yet to come up with a way to help her understand that there are those who are less fortunate than us and those who are more fortunate than us. nore have i figured out how to teach her about the story of jesus let alone which version (1st testament, 2nd testament, koran...). for right now, i am settled on introducing and keeping a few family traditions this year -- chistmas light walk on christmas eve, cookie baking, tree, etc.
there is one thing i know of for sure. chistmas is a time to let those you love, know that they're loved, thought of and cared for. it's all about spending time with people, making a phone call, sending a card or email. it's about connecting with yourself and with others.
that being said, i've had quite a philosophical collection of thoughts today. christmas. how do i make christmas, christmas? what family traditions do i want to create or pass on? what "meaning" do i want to teach to my children about christmas? do i teach them about the story of jesus christ? do i engage them in the fantasy of father christmas? what's more, how can i teach my children about religious tolerance and social inequality? how can i teach them about the gift of giving and the art of receiving?
maggie will be three and half this christmas and she is much more aware of her surroundings than last year. she is beginning to notice differences between herself and those around her from skin color to physical size, sex and age. i am yet to come up with a way to help her understand that there are those who are less fortunate than us and those who are more fortunate than us. nore have i figured out how to teach her about the story of jesus let alone which version (1st testament, 2nd testament, koran...). for right now, i am settled on introducing and keeping a few family traditions this year -- chistmas light walk on christmas eve, cookie baking, tree, etc.
there is one thing i know of for sure. chistmas is a time to let those you love, know that they're loved, thought of and cared for. it's all about spending time with people, making a phone call, sending a card or email. it's about connecting with yourself and with others.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
becoming mom
on becoming a mom i have lost -:
sleep
all inhibitions about bodily functions and crevices
fear of spiders and other creepy-crawlies
modesty
and casual acquaintances
on becoming a mom i have gained -:
a few pounds and grey hairs
a sense of humor
true friends
stellar arm muscles
and a profound sense of being.
sleep
all inhibitions about bodily functions and crevices
fear of spiders and other creepy-crawlies
modesty
and casual acquaintances
on becoming a mom i have gained -:
a few pounds and grey hairs
a sense of humor
true friends
stellar arm muscles
and a profound sense of being.
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