The Family Weekend and Simple Things

As I've blogged before, My Husband, works extremely long hours and when home is often still working well into the twilight hours. These last few months or so have been particularly challenging in terms of the hours he has needed to put in at work and it has been an adjustment for us all. Sometimes there has been weekends which have been lost to his work responsibilities, resulting in some frustrating and disappointing emotions.

However, this weekend was fantastic! A weekend we have been waiting for and needing for a long time. Regrettable it came at a cost to a dear friend of mine for reasons that I shall not go into here, but she knows I love her and was her sweet understanding and empathetic selfless self. A friend as true as they come. I owe her so much and hope her weekend was just as rewarding and special.

But I digress. The family weekend.

It was fantastic because we spent it together, well I gave hubby a well deserved lay-in, but other than that we spent every minute together. It was a simple pleasure and we revelled in it. Saturday we ate lunch out and ran a trip to Costco, and while that's not the same as saying we spent the day at the zoo it was good quality time together. Maggie was wheeling and dealing her way into buying new things and we were talking our way out of getting her another swimsuit and Disney character toy that would have more than likely, at some point, broken our ankles after we stood on it and tumbled to the floor. Ryan was sitting in glee next to Maggie in the shopping cart and bringing his little fingers together to request "more food please" and the big plus? We replenished out t.p. supply which was getting dangerously low -- we were on our last few squares before leaving the house and may have resorted to using the baby wipes to wipe our little aristotles .

Today we took the morning easy. The kids played in the back garden for a bit while hubby and I took turns in supervising and doing our own little "things" we needed and wanted to get done for ourselves. After that we headed out to lunch -- footed with our most comfortable shoes. The four of us plus one dog took a three mile walk through the park, stopping at Subways and a local coffee shop before picnicking further up the bike trail. It was a perfect day for a walk through the park -- sunny with a little overcast. Just a light jacket needed.

I basked in the pleasure of watching my hubby with Maggie and Ryan from the picnic blanket, Jewel (the dog) at my side, as they went off to kick a ball around and play on the slides. I grinned from ear to ear and with open arms as Maggie came running back to me, with her funky kid run, announcing the various "pretend-real animals" she bought for me from the pet store. I got a saber-toothed tiger and another domestic cat to play with our two at home. The image of dear hubby and dear son walking off hand in hand to take on the park's slides and swings will always be imprinted on my mind, the kind that can't be found on a memory card or negative.

All in all it was a good family-bonding day. A really beautiful day, and one I am truly grateful for.

Tears for Music

Some songs just make you cry don't they? "You are my sunshine" by Elizabeth Mitchell is one of them for me. The song evokes so much emotion in my heart and speaks to how I feel about being a mother to my two children and to all the children that have since left this earth. You can listen it here -- just click on "sunshine" from the menu on the left, and another menu will come up for you to listen to her music. Click on listen and again on "you are my sunshine". If you are a mother, be sure to have your snuffle tissues at the ready. The lyrics are below as best I know them.

You are my sunshine by Elizabeth Mitchell

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much i love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away


You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know, dear, how much i love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Letter to Self

Dear Subconscious and Future Self,

You should have gone to bed much, much earlier last night. Why an earth you slummed it around for a self proclaimed "personal time" until 2am is beyond me considering your responsibilities. It seems though, that you have made a habit of staying up late surfing the web, reading magazines, books and slothfully picking up the clutter around the house and emptying your kitchen sink.

I suppose I should congratulate you for getting up and showered this morning in time to get Maggie off to school with a full tummy of cereal and toast, and orange juice, and milk (my how your daughter can eat! Must be another one of those growth spurts.) And you handled your son pretty well this morning with his nipple sucking mouth clamped lips on your very tired sagging breasts. You got him dressed and fed too -- I see that he enjoys toast and orange juice in the morning now as well. Nice going milk weaning mummy.

Not quite a smooth transition at Maggie drop-off though was it? Though it was nice to have your daughter greeted by three eager friends wanting to play with her before she even opened the door, your mummy pride of her girl power slightly outweighed her feeling of overwhelment by all the excitement of her three little friends. I saw you looking over to the teacher assistance for some help as Maggie held tightly to your hand, mouth clammed shut, and Ryan wriggling to get down from your hip and race off to the touch and feel table. The juxtaposition of "mummy proud moment" and "mummy oh dear my daughter needs more help than I realized" was brief, but it was there. Thankfully for you, Maggie rose to the occasion and ran off in excitement with her buddies and Ryan managed to divert the traffic of well meaning affection from other four year olds by racing back to your pant legs.

Your exit from the pre-school with Ryan today was relatively smooth considering recent history. Convincing him that the flowers outside the school would be much more interesting than the slide in the school play area was a sneaky ploy of distraction and it worked beautifully -- this time. I don't think you could fool him again tomorrow. I suppose your success here and recent flirtation with "proud mummy moment" spurred you to take on Trader Joe's without a shopping list. You did well to remember the two cartons of milk, smoked turkey, grapes, asparagus and tilapia -- shame about the other twenty dollars worth of groceries you got that you didn't really need. And what about the yogurt? You forgot the yogurt again.

Back home went pretty smooth. You learned that Ryan is more cooperative with getting out the car and in the house if he gets to walk to the back gate and say hi to Jewel the dog. Groceries were put away before they perished, Ryan got a healthy snack and a nap. And you, you miraculously managed to lay down on the sofa to rest for forty minutes too. Whoop-Whoop! But, would some of that time be better spent in cleaning up the dirty dishes lining your kitchen sink and what about the pile of laundry waiting to be folded? Good move with turning the radio on and listening to Dr. Laura , there's always one caller that lights a fire in you and kudos for the healthy chicken salad lunch. Spoiled it with snacking on a some candy later in the day though didn't you?

It was after lunch that things started to go wildly out of your control. Ryan slept late for his nap which you ignored -- which made you late in picking Maggie up from pre-school, which meant she saw the mummy made muffins for classmates birthday, which meant she couldn't leave without having one, which meant you only just made it to her swimming class on time only to result in one very frazzled annd worn out you. Maggie did do a great job at swimming though and Ryan clapped along with you as she floated on her back and made real effort to use her arms in making some swimming strokes. It was sweet, and enough to recharge your batteries and de-frazzle you.

Until, you hit the shoe store. This is where I think you lost your senses all together. How you thought you could fit in one more errand at the end of the day, especially a shoe store, and still make it home in time to cook dinner without any serious meltdown from you or either one of the kids baffles me. If I asked you today would you think that with one hour to spare you could get to the shoe store, have you daughter try on shoes, make a sensible decision about which pair to buy (if any) and get home in time to prep a quick snack for the kids, feed the dog, great the cats and cook dinner? Though it seemed totally reasonable at the time to you, it was a crazy, crazy move.

I'm glad you realized that it was pretty dumb to pay 65.00 dollars for a pair of shoes for said daughter, though it is understandable and a somewhat common mummy mistake to be made. Consider the duress you were under -: All other wide, high arch fitting tennis shoes did not fit. One dangerously climbing and wondering stinky diapered toddler, who thought it was his job to bring you shoes of all shapes and sizes. One well meaning sales clerk who thought it was funny to say "smells like someone is holding a package in there diaper... don't worry I'm used to the smell with my niece..." who also acutely described your sons cry as one that sounded like a mechanical cow. Plus one not so cooperative four and a half ear old with very difficult feet to find shoes of any kind that fit and support her feet while also looking attractive enough to wear. Nonetheless $65.00!!! For shoes. For a four and half year old. Were you mad or just temporarily insane? I hope the latter is true rather than the former.

Reuniting with an old mummy friend at the store next door (should I point out here that it wasn't a smart choice to extend your errands to two more stores or would that be redundant at this point?). You clicked, you connected and you rejoiced with each other. Both of you enjoying each others sanity in parenthood -- or lack thereof. Discovering each of your second bornes shared the same birth date and are both boys was pretty cool too. And the store owner is fast becoming a friend. How nice of her to give a "free" truck toy to Ryan and help Maggie write down a wish list on those post-it-notes. It was awfully cute how Maggie raced home to stick them to her bedroom wall.

Your evening couldn't have ended more sweetly when Maggie turned to you and said, "Just one more thing Mama. I need to give you a great big hug and a great big squeeze. I love you." Moved by the freewill of her affection you said, "Maggie, you make me happy every day." to which she replied, "And you make me happy every day and every night. I love you mummy."

Randy Pausch

A family member forwarded me a lecture by Randy Pausch. It is a lecture about how to live with gratitude. Below is a link to a short version of his lecture that will only take twelve minutes of your time and I urge anyone who has found themselves here to watch it.

"Experience is what you get when you don't get the things you want."

Goodnight

Me: Goodnight Maggie, I love you. You'll always be my special girl.
Maggie: Goodnight Mummy. I love you too and you'll always be my mummy.

What a wonderful way to end at very crazy day and a tiring week. I love my kids. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me (aside from meeting my husband, my Eric).

Give Me Immunity Please

Eric, my hubby is sick. Ryan, my son is sick. Maggie, my daughter is sick. Beni the cat prince is sick. Henri the cat jester is sick. 'tis only the dog and I who are not sick in this house.

I have been wiping noses and dodging sneezes this past week. I have lost out on sleep while I responded and reacted to the calls, coughs, whimpers and sneezes. I am in total shock as to why I have not got sick myself. Granted, I've had the sniffles and the sneezes but that has been due to allergies and a free sample of Allegra and a nose spray from the doctor's office seems to have taken care of the best of it.

Could it be my super fab mummy always on the go diet that is helping me stay cold free? I doubt it. Perhaps its the average of five to six hours of sleep I'm getting every night? No, I doubt that too. Maybe the exercise I do? No again. The only exercise I find the time to do is lifting the wriggling twenty-four pound weight around (aka: Ryan) which, compared to the forty pound plus weight of my other wriggling sickie (aka: Maggie) isn't that much of a workout anymore.

I am going to take my good fortune of immunity and run with it. I'm picking up a fresh carton of orange juice in the morning and will make sure to actually sit down and finish my bowel of Trader Joe's Almond Clusters. I promise too, to make time for a decent lunch of whole grain bread and green greens. I will even snack in mid-afternoon with a crispy fresh and juicy apple and will go all out at dinner and cook me up some tilapia or sol fish.

In the meantime, please send me all your good karma -- I think I might be needing some of it right about now.

Heart Full of Love

My son. I love him. I utterly adore him. He's sweet and lovable and loving. His name is Ryan. When he would roll around inside me I would rest my hands on my stomach and it felt like I was reaching inside and giving him a big heart full of love. Now, when I wrap my arms around him we are bonded in an intimate moment for two. I love him endlessly.

My son is my second born and is loved no less and no more than my first yet, I feel a great loss for him. While my daughter received undivided attention for the first three years of her life and was exposed to playgroups, music and the arts, leisurely walks around the neighborhood and to the park, my son has been shunted from one errand to another. In fact, I believe his very first trip out from the house after arriving home from the hospital was a trip to the store to pick up a chest of draws for his bedroom, his second trip was Maggie's first day at pre-school. Things haven't changed much for him since then.

The closest exposure Ryan has had to playgroups is with the siblings of Maggie's classmates from her gymnastics class. As the older siblings work on their gymnastics skills I am usually found pacing the corridor with Ryan -- trying to appease him in his tired state, feeding him a cracker or a bite of an apple. His music exposure has been the children's CD collection in the car, my singing (which leaves a lot to be desired), and an occasional mad half hour in the afternoon of banging on pots and pans and battered old toy instruments. His leisurely walks are, more often than not, limited to the distance between the front door and car door and his trips to the park are a rare occurrence and always accompanied by Maggie who has her very own and very clear agenda that we often need compromise on.

I hope that I learn his exposure, though different from Maggie's, isn't any less than what she had. I hope that when Ryan is older he will understand that although things aren't always equal, they are often the same. I hope that he understands the gift of giving and the lesson of waiting for his turn without harboring resentment. I hope that despite it all, he knows he is loved no less and no more than his sister.